the homomatriarchy

BATTLESONG OF THE BISEXUAL FEMME GIRL

            STRAIGHT BOY, no, I would not like to join you and your terrified-looking girlfriend over there for a threesome. Please stop asking.

            STRAIGHT GIRL, I am not “safe” to experiment with because I am bisexual. Just because we can bond over love of cock does not mean I don’t count when we get down.

            BI-GIRL-WITH-A-BOYFRIEND„ I am not interested in being your escape-valve, your plaything, or your dirty-little-secret. You have forgotten your roots; look how long those fingernails are!

            QUEER GIRL, I am not a fence-sitter. I know who and what I am. You don’t need to be intimidated because my last lover was a boy. If I wanted a boy, I would be with one. Here I am.

            BI BOY, just because dudes at bars love it when girls make-out doesn’t mean it’s easier for me to be the way we are. Let’s not play oh-look-who-is-more-oppressed.  That’s how the patriarchy wins.

            QUEER BOY, when you say you “don’t understand” how I can “enjoy vadge” since it is “so gross” you are being an asshole. Stop it.

            Lover, I am not a fence-sitter. I know who and what I am. Here I am.

                                                                                                               -ms. dolcelina

feminism made me a 19th-century sexual invert

Check out this excerpt from this awesome book I’m reading (Lillian Faderman’s Odd Girls and Twilight Lovers: A History of Lesbian Life in Twentieth-century America). It looks like, unsurprisingly, feminism has been sending ladies diving into the vagina for well over a century:

“It was the European sexologists who were the first to connect sexual inversion and feminism. Havelock Ellis stated in his chapter ‘Sexual Inversion Among Women’ in Studies in the Psychology of Sex that female homosexuality was increasing because of feminism, which taught women to be independent and to disdain marriage. Ellis, as a congenitalist who believed that homosexuality was hereditary, hastened to add that the women’s movement could not directly cause sexual inversion unless one had the potential for it to begin with, but that the movement definitely ‘developed the germs of it’ in those who were that way inclined; and in other women it cause a ‘spurious imitation’ of homosexuality.”

Just want to give some props to the sexy young suffragettes who shed their petticoats and boned madly all over the sweeping fields of Mt. Holyoke, the real live ladies who connected feminism with the free expression of sexuality. And, before even them, the angry impoverished ladies who pulled up their work boots and snapped on suspenders so they could be farmers and stagecoach drivers and bring home the bacon for their lady loves. The volumes of Havelock’s opus, Studies in the Psychology of Sex, were published between 1897 and 1928, but feminism and feminist practices had been carving out spaces for women to get their gay on well before that. So let’s be clear, sexologists like Mr. Ellis were just announcing a longstanding trend and spreading sweaty, so-scary-I-have-to-touch-myself panic about it in their manly medical books and lectures. They didn’t invent the connection between increased liberation and lady loving; brash, awesome, angry lesbos did.  

Finally, is it just me, or does Havelock Ellis have an awesome lesbian haircut? Totally jealous. I want to go buy some pomade.

“Hey, I’m Havelock Ellis and I spend all day measuring labia. For science.”

(-A.B.)

our first hit single

FEMINISM MADE ME GAY

lyrics by acton belle & ms. dolcelina

…

i used to be always tryin’ to please

those boys those men, like i had some disease

big high heels and teeny skirts

always sayin’ no to delicious desserts

…

laughin’ at jokes that didn’t amuse

comin’ home late feelin’ tired and used

then i learned about male privilege

how the patriarchy’s sacrilege

i got to thinkin’ about some things

like how i wanted a GIRL

between my legs, oh!

…

FEMINISM, IT MADE ME GAY

OHHHHH BOY, THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY

now it’s PUSSY that i adore

i’m comin’ harder than than ever before

oh!

…

now andrea dworkin makes sense to me

PORNOGRAPHY IS THE ENEMY

sisterhood is really powerful

(especially when we’re keeping each others’ mouths full)

…

FEMINISM MADE ME GAY

OHHHHH GIRL, THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY

now it’s PUSSY that i adore

i’m comin’ harder than than ever before

oh!

…

FEMINISM MADE ME GAY

OHHHHH GIRL, THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY

now it’s PUSSY that i adore

i’m comin’ harder than than ever before

…

never done after just one

never done after just one

NEVER DONE AFTER JUST ONE!